Will your marriage go the distance Part 2

The first thing I mentioned in helping your marriage go the distance is having a relationship with God. 

I think that is a huge factor leading into another key, and that is Forgiveness!

Ephesians 4:32 "And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."

I can tell you that our marriage has required a lot of forgiveness.  Some little offenses, and some not so little.  Sometimes it is a one time thing, and sometimes it is an ongoing process that requires forgiveness over and over. 

It is God's place to change our mate, not ours.  They may struggle with an issue (addictions, etc...) for a long time before God gives them victory over it.  We made a vow "til death do us part" and it is our job to keep that commitment.  Pray for your husband. 

(That being said, do not be a victim of abuse.  If there is abuse in your relationship, seek help from a Pastor or Counselor.)      

We need to be willing to admit when we are wrong, and say I'm sorry.  Search your heart, pray and ask God to show you when you are wrong.  Repent and ask for forgiveness from your spouse.  You may also need to pray and ask forgiveness from God.  Ask God to change you. 

If you are the offended one, you need to grant forgiveness.  That doesn't mean that you weren't hurt, or that nothing happened.  It doesn't mean that you will forget.  It means you let go of resentment and your "right to get even."

When you argue, it isn't time to call your Mom, or your friends and bad mouth your spouse.  You need to work it out between you and your hubby and God.  In order for a marriage to work, you need to "leave and cleave"  Genesis 2:24 "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." NIV     

Forgiveness is a choice!  Sometimes it is a choice that we have to make over and over.  Jesus says we are to forgive "up to seventy times seven" in Matthew 18: 21-22.  It is a choice that sets your spouse free, and begins the healing process.  Forgiveness also sets you free! 

When we forgive, trust can be rebuilt.  In some instances, it may take time to rebuild trust.  If you are the one that broke your spouses trust, you need to understand that they need time.  You have to earn that trust back. 

Forgiveness doesn't automatically cure the hurt, but if we choose not to forgive, a wall is built.  Resentment lingers.   

When you forgive, resist the tendency to keep bringing up the offense or the hurt.  Yes, you need to talk through the issue, but once it is resolved let it rest.  Do not bring it up again, especially when you're angry.

Matthew 6:14 & 15 says "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

I don't know about you, but I want to be forgiven for my sins!

I am blessed with a pretty forgiving husband!  I also choose to forgive him when needed!

Have you offended your spouse? Do you need to ask forgiveness? Maybe you are the one who has been offended... Can you find it in your heart to forgive? Pray about it, ask God to help you.

Feel free to email me privately at tshineldecker@gmail.com

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Blessings!