Seasons of change

My heart is breaking for a dear sweet sister in Christ and in ministry as she announced that after struggling with depression and other issues for several months, her husband has left her and the children.  They are devastated!
 
It is time for her to "circle the wagons" to care for herself and her children.  She is choosing to become less involved in ministry for a season to take care of her own.
 
I highly respect her decision! 

I have recently done the same thing with news of my daughter's pregnancy.  I want to be here for her every moment.  I feel like a mother bird, and I just want to wrap my wings around her and protect her.  She's young, and this is all new to her, and even if she doesn't admit it, I'm sure she's a little bit afraid.  I want to be available to help with the baby so that she can finish school.

I suppose for some, maybe it's easier to be busy so that they don't have to think about the problems that they have at home.  For me, I find that when I have stuff going on at home, I want and need to be there.  That is when I look at my outside commitments and start pruning if necessary. 

This is one of those seasons for me.  In fact, looking back over the last several years, it seems as if our family has been in "crisis" mode quite often.  I've pruned several things from my life, but it is time to prune some more. 
 
I love being involved and helping others, but it's all about finding balance!  Keeping our priorities in order!

First of all, we are a child of God.  Are we making time to Pray and be in His Word?  Daily?  We need a good relationship with God, especially during difficult times.  He will help you through! 

If we are a wife and/or mother, our next priorities should be our husband and children.  Are we meeting their needs?  I find that if I am worn out and exhausted from all of the busyness of volunteering and other things, I can't keep up at home. 

There are others who can fill volunteer positions, but we are the only wife that our husband has.  We are the only one he can/should come to for intimacy, and we need to be available to him.  We are the only Mother our children have, and we need to be there to listen to them, talk with them, pray with them and for them.  They want us to watch their school plays and hockey games, etc... and no one else can replace us.

There are many good things that we can give our time to, but we must decide and pray about which ones God wants us to do. Sometimes if we say no, it gives someone else an opportunity to say yes and try something new.

I like the idea that Jill Savage of Hearts-at-Home shared about having one major thing and one minor thing.
"A major responsibility is something that I have on a regular (weekly) basis like committing to teach Sunday School, leading a moms group, or even full-time work. It requires daily or weekly (or almost weekly) preparation and a regular commitment.
A minor responsibility is a “just show up” responsibility. Working in the church nursery or helping with my child’s Christmas party at school are minor responsibilities. No prep needed, just show up, serve, and leave." (Read more here)

For me, it is an ongoing process.  I've been volunteering in my church and community for at least 15 years.  I've been involved in many wonderful things, but often find myself with too much on my plate.  Right now, I have far more than one major and one minor, therefore, I am in the pruning process. 

Does that mean I'm not living my own life in order to be here for my family?  No, this is my life!  My family comes first.  In fact, when I start saying yes to too many outside commitments, that is when I feel like I'm not living my life the way I should be. 

I'd encourage you today to look at your commitments, and see if they line up with your priorities. 
Are you spreading yourself too thin? 
Are you away from home more than you should be? Taking time away from your husband and children, or the work you should be doing at home?
Does what you are doing line up with God's plan for your life?
Are you trying to find your value in what you do?
Are you avoiding responsibilities at home?

You don't have to say yes to everything.  Say yes to the things you are passionate about, and that line up with your goals and priorities.  Use the gifts and talents God has given you to do the things that only you can do.

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Blessings! 












     

Inexpensive Date Nights

As I promised in a previous post, here are some date night ideas.  It's Friday!  Make time for your spouse.  I believe that date nights are a big part of a successful marriage and you should do them once a week if possible.  If you think you can't afford it, try saving your change.  Just put it in a jar at the end of each day. 
Not always the overnight in a hotel like we did.  That's rare.  There are plenty of ideas from inexpensive to extravagant that you can use.  If you have little ones and don't have a babysitter, see if you can trade babysitting with another couple every other week or even once a month.  Start a babysitting co-op, or if nothing else, wait until the kids are in bed.  Put them to bed a little early if possible and have an at home date. 
At Home:
Have a picnic in your room, watch a movie... pick up some special treats, pop some popcorn and pretend you're at the theatre. 
Use your best china and dine by candlelight.
Play cards or board games.  Be creative, the winner gets a back rub. 

Pack your laptop, bring along a romantic movie, park somewhere quiet and watch your movie in your car.
Go to bargain movie nights, or matinees
Try the drive in theatre if you have one in your area. Bring your own refreshments to save
Go to free concerts at the park or other free events in your area.
Visit the zoo or museum.  Some offer free days.
Visit a home improvement store and dream.
Go to the mall.  Window shop, or try on things you could never afford. 
Have a picnic at the beach.
Go sledding, cross country skiing, or ice skating.
Bring charcoal and cook out at the park.
Camp in a tent.
Volunteer together.
Test drive your dream car.
Go to the Fair
Visit a farmers market or orchard.
Get a coffee and browse the bookstore.
Go out for just dessert
Go out for dinner at an inexpensive cafe, and just order water to drink to save $
Just order appetizers and drinks
Visit a walking trail, bike trail or state park. Bring a picnic lunch
Try mini golf
Find coupons for your favorite restaurants online or in the newspaper.
Go for a drive down some country roads, or to another town. Enjoy the scenery.

Holiday Ideas
Bring a thermos of hot chocolate or coffee and go for a drive to check out light displays.
Lay on a blanket and watch the fireworks.

These are just a few ideas.  If you're creative, you can find plenty of things to do with little or no money.  I didn't even begin to list things that you could do with a little more money. 
What do you like to do for date nights?  Please comment here on this post to share your ideas with others.  (If you comment on facebook, everyone won't get to read it)
Have fun!
Blessings!